Christmas in a tough economy

I'm going to deviate from my regular format and not answer a specific question.  Many of my close friends have called me and expressed concern over the upcoming Holidays.  They are all parents who are caught up in the commercial side of Christmas, the shopping, the spending and the demands that are self-imposed.  They are parents who care for their children and do not want to disappointed them by not buying them what they want for Christmas.  But Christmas isn't about how much money you spend, is it?

Looking back at my childhood, my most cherished Christmas memories were not about gifts.  In fact, I honestly could not tell you any present that I got as child unless I really thought about it.  I could, however, tell you about the time that my Mom turned our kitchen into a bakery and we made cookies, fudge, brownies (you name it) all day long.  It was amazing.  There were these little thumb print cookies with mint jelly in them.  I didn't even know they made mint jelly.

Another great memory was the year we went to Texas.  We stopped at a Kmart on Christmas eve to go shopping.  I was six years old.  I got one gift that year and I can't even remember what it was.  But, I do remember going shopping with my Mom late at night.  It was fun and made me feel very close to my Mom, like I was an active part in the Holiday and not just the recipient of gifts.

This year, things are tough, the economy is bad and money is tight.  It may be a good time to think about giving a gift that last forever and won't break the bank.  The gift of a lasting Holiday memory.  Trust me, your kids would much rather have your attention than your money or gifts.  Look back at your childhood and think about what stands out to you the most.  Was it the memories or the presents?

Happy Holidays!
I miss you Mom, hope I make you proud of me.

Is an online dating site right for me.

I am a single mom and have a full time job so getting out and trying to meet new people is a chore. I would like to date and my friends are pressuring me to join an online dating site. Is this a good idea or does it just reek of desperation?
~Single and Searching.

Online dating is actually a sensible alternative to meeting people in bars or night clubs. It doesn't reek of desperation. In fact, with more and more people sharing their success stories from online dating sites, it has become much more acceptable and even trendy.

Signing up is free at Match.com® Official Site or you can get a  7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com.  The monthly cost of a membership at an online dating site is often less than the cost of one night of bar hopping with your friends. Plus, having a profile on an internet dating site makes you available to be found at any time. Which means that your exposure to new people is not limited to just the time that you are out looking to socialize.

The best approach to internet dating is to treat it like any other social networking site. You want to start by just finding new friends. Communicate with these new friends throught the dating sites anonymous email system until you decide whether they are worth getting to know better.  Another advantage to online dating is the ability to remain anonymous and not give out any personal information. This is a great feature, especially for women.

Of course, as a single parent you will want to take a few extra precautions. On your profile you will want to be honest and mention that you have children, how many and whether they live with you but you should not post pictures of your children or provide their names. Maybe I'm just being paranoid but it's better to be safe than sorry. You want people to know what they are getting into if they would like to start dating you but you don't want to advertise your children to potentially bad people.

If you'd like to get some other opinions, you should take a look at this blog that discusses online dating.

How do I flirt

This may sound like a silly question but how can I flirt with a guy without being too obvious?
~ Carol

Flirting with a guy is very simple. All you need to do is play to his ego, show him that he is doing a good job. Laugh at his jokes, men like to know that they can make a woman laugh, smile and be happy, let him know that he has your attention.

Make physical contact, not too much, just enough to let him know that it's acceptable. Gently touch his arm or his hand when you speak to him. This should break the barrier of touch and make the conversation a little more intimate.

Make eye contact. Let him know that you have your eyes on him, not someone else. This is a fuzzy area because you don't want to stare but you don't want to NOT look at him either. You can also do the “look away” trick. Look at him until he notices then look away and smile like you just got caught checking him out.

Relax, this should be fun. If you enjoy this it will show and you will smile and be happy. It's easier to simply relax and enjoy the moments than to fake it.

I am not suggesting that you should act differently in order to get a mans attention. It's important that you be yourself to find someone who will like you for who you are. So, think of these tips as a way of letting the real you get noticed. Don't do anything that you aren't comfortable with, it could lead to a situation that only becomes more uncomfortable.
For example, you wouldn't want to learn a few jokes to get a mans attention and have him introduce you to a room full of his friends saying, "I'd like you to meet Carol, she's really funny" if you actually aren't.